019: 4 Steps in Creating Healthy Boundaries - Soulfull Sound Coaching
Welcome to a new episode of Soulfull Sound Coaching! Each month, l’ll be answering your questions about anything related to healing and transformation, connecting with yourself, discovering your gifts and practical strategies on sharing your gifts with the world, or... any burning question you have and sense that I'm the right person to answer it.
This month’s question comes from Jessica.
I need to take charge of my life and set clear boundaries. What are some ways that I could implement healthy boundaries in my life?
Here’s a snapshot of the first 2 steps you can take right now!
Step 1 - Know your parameters
Know your parameters around work, relationships, and other areas of your life.
A healthy boundary just means you know what you are willing to and not willing to accept in your life, and healthy boundaries are linked to knowing your worth.
Let me start by saying here, you are worthy of being treated with respect and that the only way you will teach others how to respect you is to first respect yourself. So when you’re wanting to create a healthy boundary, implement it for yourself. For example, if you have a tendency to let people pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do then look at how you pressure yourself into doing things you don’t want to do and stop! You allowing others to pressure you simply means you are pressuring yourself. This isn’t to say that you will never have to do things you don’t like or want to do, but more so, know your boundaries and choose you! This leads me on to the next step!
Step 2 - Don’t be a people pleaser - it’s ok to say no.
This one I had to learn for myself because I associated yes with be helpful and selfless, but when it got to a point where my well-being was the cost of so many YESes I practiced the NOs more often. It is great to be helpful and serve others, but not so much if the cost is you, because in reality the only way you can truly give to others if you have something to give. It is important to give to yourself first. We hear all the time the example of being in an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down. The first thing you’re told is to put it on yourself first then help others. There’s no point in passing out trying to be of help to someone else! So the same applies here. Fill up your cup to overflow and then you have plenty to share around.
Summary of all 4 steps:
Step 1 - Know your parameters.
Step 2 - Don’t be a people pleaser - it’s ok to say no.
Step 3 ⁃ Take responsibility for your choices.
Step 4 - Practise consistency.
Listen in for the full scoop!
If you enjoyed this episode, check out the show notes and more at https://www.simoneniles.com/blog/4-steps-in-creating-healthy-boundaries and follow at https://www.instagram.com/simone_niles/
