Choose No Stress

How often do you feel stressed, and what stresses you out? 

Often, we say we’re stressed because of a sense of upheaval or overwhelm in our day or lives. Let me ask you, ‘Do you know what specifically triggers you to feel this way?’ I would like to venture a guess; that it is related to how you view the small and big challenges in your life, simply put, your thoughts about them.

The thing is, not all our thoughts are true. Sometimes they’re just stories we make up and tell ourselves to make sense of a situation. But what if you could change your thoughts, tell yourself a different and better story to then impact how the events in your life affect you? Why is it that the exact situation could affect two people very differently, where one thinks ‘this struggle will end me’ and the other, ‘this struggle will strengthen me’? 

"How you view life’s stresses can only be determined by you, just know you have a choice in the matter." 

An experience I had...  

----- On waking one morning, I DECIDED, today is going to be a good day.

Okay so honestly that could have gone either way as I only had about five hours of sleep and my first thought was, I wish I could stay in bed. Then I noticed the sun streaming through the curtains and thought about how wonderful it is to have a sunny day. That was it; today is going to be a good day. If only everyone else decided the same! On my way out this morning, I had a whistle blown pretty close to my ear by a train station guard which for a few minutes almost threw my decision (of having a good day) especially since my ears were ringing. This was swiftly followed by almost being knocked over by someone rushing for a train, “no apology necessary sir!”

Okay so at that moment I could have forgotten about the beautiful sunrise and decided to be miserable and stressed instead, after all these two people were out to get me and it wasn’t even 8am! How was I supposed to survive the rest of the day sticking to my decision of no stress!

This may sound simplified, but I just let go of the thoughts that suggested I be stressed instead. I thought about how I could reframe the incidents that happened in a better way. I reminded myself that after going to a good dance that my ears would sometimes ring because of the volume of the music (I know better now and have great pair of earplugs), but never got upset with the DJ. I also told myself that this guy rushing for the train was on his way to something important and he was a nice guy.

While these examples of triggers of stress are pretty small in comparison to other challenges we experience in life, I’d like to think the principle is still the same. That we have some say in how we let triggers affect us and how our behaviour and actions follow suit. My mother used to say “when you walk under a tree and a bird does its business on you, the bird didn’t say, oh there’s that person I want to do my stuff on, no, it just did its thing, and you happen to walk under it.” So, you can either brush it off and get cleaned up or be upset with the bird all day long. ------

So, there are a few things I did there. I set an intention of having no stress that day. Then I was mindful or present in the moment of potential stressful triggers and finally I changed my thoughts or story about them.

Here’s how you can implement this practice.

• Set an intention for your day.
• Be mindful and present when triggers arise.
• Reframe your thoughts to something positive instead.

This, like all things you want to master takes practice, so take it one day at a time.

DECIDE today is going to be a good day. Take the challenge and go 24 hours of brushing it off and getting cleaned up and reframe those triggers to achieve a positive result and good feeling instead. One day will lead to two, two to three and so on, you’ll be surprised what making one decision can do.